Curating Your Social Media Feed

Is it Tuesday already? This week’s Little Dose of Joy is a relatively short one (because it’s only Tuesday and yet somehow it feels like it’s been a long week 😬). 

I’ve been paying more and more attention to who I follow on social media, and it’s led to a very different looking Instagram feed than I had six months ago. Essentially, my criteria for following or unfollowing someone boils down to a simple question - how do I feel when I come across this person’s posts? If it makes me feel small, it’s pretty much a hard no/time to unfollow. If their account makes me want to spend large sums of money on things I don’t need (looking at you, influencers), they’re also usually out. If their account makes me feel jealous of their life, I take a beat - sometimes a long one - and try to decide why that is. If I can change that jealousy into a feeling of inspiration, I continue to keep them around. 

I’ve also actively sought out people who feel aligned with who I am or who I want to be - those who post more than just the glamorous shots and vacations. There is SO much content on the internet, it’s worth seeking out a couple of fun accounts that you know will either make you laugh, make you think, or brighten your day. A few of my personal favorites are Good News Movement, Mari Andrew, Sara Blakely, Live From Snack Time, Glennon Doyle, Humans of New York, and Diego Perez.

Sara Blakely is the GOAT of Insta inspo

What about the accounts that challenge your point of view? If someone is spewing hate or saying things that make your blood boil, they’re probably worth unfollowing entirely. But I feel that we need to be careful unfollowing everyone we disagree with, lest our feeds become echo chambers of our own emphatic beliefs. If you’re feeling up to it, continue following people who challenge your perspective in a healthy way, whatever you deem that to be. 

One last note: the mute button is a beautiful thing. You can either hide or mute posts on Instagram and Facebook and then choose to unmute them later if you feel like it. This can be helpful if you just need a break from someone for a little while (like until December 2024…), but don’t want to unfollow them entirely. 

These are the loose rules that have worked for me, but my relationship with social media is still very much a work in progress. Any advice? What’s helped you guys ensure your Insta / Tik Tok / Facebook / Twitter is a bright spot instead of a dark cloud? 

Wishing you all a week of uplifting content. 

The Happy Album

Every year at Christmas, my sister gifts my parents a calendar full of photos from the year prior. She matches up the months, so when you flip to February there are photos of my nieces and nephew sledding, in June there are photos from the previous year’s beach trip, etc. It’s meant for my parents, but it’s hands down everyone’s favorite Christmas gift. 

Whenever I come home to visit, one of the first things I do is take the calendar off the fridge and flip back through it. It’s fun to see pictures from anything I missed throughout the year, and I love reminiscing on the memories I was lucky enough to part of. Photographs have that mysterious ability to transport us right back to the moment they were taken. 

Creating a yearly calendar is an audacious goal, but I think we all know how much happiness looking back at old photo albums brings. Luckily, these days we have the power to carry entire albums in our phones, and I think we could all do a better job of taking advantage of that. 

Rasta joined me for a post-half marathon beer. This picture always makes me smile.

Here’s my homework to you: create a photo album, either physical or on your phone, with a bunch of pictures that make you happy. There doesn’t have to be a specific timeline or event - in fact, I think it’s a lot more fun to make a montage of moments over the years that make you smile. It can be 10 pictures or 100. The point is simply to be able to pull out your Happy Album whenever you’re feeling blue and remind yourself of all the precious moments and people that make up a lifetime. 

There were a LOT of smiles involved in the making of my Happy Album. One thing I noticed - the more oddball a picture was, the more joy it brought me. The posed pictures are wonderful and you need them, but a good chunk of my album was dedicated to the ridiculous outtakes that made me laugh and the precious moments that I was able to sneakily snap a photo of. It was a good reminder to take more candids.

Sneaking an adorable photo of my mom and niece

If you have a chance this week, make your own Happy Album. And if you want to make my day, send me one of your outtakes. 

Wishing you a week of candid moments ❤️

What Is Grounding?

Hang in with me today guys, we’re getting a little bit hippy. Have you ever heard of grounding? It’s also commonly referred to as earthing, and all it entails is having direct contact between your body and the earth. The surface of the earth is covered with free electrons, which your body can absorb directly through your skin. These electrons act almost like antioxidants within the body, and have been proven to reduce inflammation, improve sleep, reduce stress, and help speed the healing of wounds, among other benefits. (Note: this is different from the concept of “grounding” with which you may already be familiar. It has nothing to do with being present in the moment, practicing mindfulness, etc. - although those are all good things too!)

The earth itself has a slight negative electrical charge. When electricians wire a house, they include grounding wires so that any excess electricity can be run into the ground, where it’s neutralized. Your body is also a conduit for electricity, and absorbing those negatively charged electrons from the earth helps combat free radicals inside the body, much in the same manner as antioxidants. Free radicals (unstable molecules within the body) are linked to a whole host of problems, including inflammatory diseases and premature aging, so keeping them in check is a wonderful thing.

Earthing is a relatively new area of study, but the initial research is compelling, and it costs nothing to incorporate it into your daily routine. The easiest way to practice grounding is by walking barefoot on the grass, dirt, rock or sand. Swimming in a natural body of water, such as the ocean or a lake, can also have the same positive effects. 

Bonus points to anyone who can dance while they ground.

I’ll be honest here - I looooove not wearing shoes. I just like the feeling of the earth under my feet, which is probably why I was so eager to try grounding when I first started reading about it. But even if you’re not a huge fan of being barefoot, there are ways to practice grounding without constantly getting your feet dirty. There was a study done that showed similar benefits in people who wore natural wool socks while walking through the grass*. There are also a variety of products, such as grounding mats, available if you’d like to practice grounding inside. If you want to keep it free and enjoy the great outdoors though, nothing beats walking barefoot! 

The research varies when it comes to how long one should practice grounding, but I’ve seen anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes per day. I know it can be tricky to find an extra 20+ minutes in your day, but if you can simply sit outside on a blanket with your feet in the grass while you work, play with your dog, read, etc., you can work earthing into your routine. Heck, enjoy some dark chocolate while you’re at it and really double down on your antioxidants 😉.

If you choose to start practicing earthing, I would love to hear your thoughts! Wishing you all a week of feet on the ground and toes in the sand.

Sources/Further Reading:

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3265077/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4378297/

https://www.healthline.com/health/grounding#types

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1550830719305476#

https://monroeengineering.com/blog/how-does-electrical-grounding-work/# (in reference to how electricians use grounding)

https://www.doctorkiltz.com/earthing-grounding/

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3249911/

*I would love to be able to source this one for you guys, but unfortunately, I can’t remember where I read the article about wool socks.

A Whole Lotta Gratitude

Happy Tuesday, friends! Eddie convinced me to get up at 5:30 this morning to catch an east coast sunrise, and despite my grumbling when the alarm went off, it was seriously stunning. 

As we sat on the beach watching the sky run through the rainbow, I thought about how grateful I am for this crazy year. 2023 will go down as the wildest ride (and it’s only June!), but one that I feel beyond lucky to have experienced. Like everyone, I can get bogged down in the details, the planning, the errands, and the minutiae of the day-to-day, without stopping to look up and appreciate this life in all its splendor. 

There is nothing like the ocean to pull us out of our heads and into gratitude. 

Around this time last year, a friend of mine recommended keeping a Gratitude Journal. There are a couple of ways to do this, the easiest of which is to write down 3-5 things you’re grateful for each day. If you’re like me and struggle in the creativity department, I would highly recommend buying a Gratitude Journal that includes daily prompts, so that you don’t just end up writing the same things every time. I wrote in a guided journal for about eight months, and now I generally write my own prompts, or I simply document a couple of good things that have happened lately. 

If you’re newer to the idea of gratitude journaling, here are a couple of prompts to get you started:

• Which teacher, coach, or mentor are you the most grateful for?

• Pinpoint a setback you’ve had that you can now see was a blessing.

• What personality trait or skill of your own are you grateful you possess?

• Choose a friend or relative and come up with three things you appreciate about them.

• What’s your favorite part of the house or town you live in? 

• Who never fails to make you laugh?

• What music album, piece of art, film, etc. are you grateful exists? 

• Best summer fruit? I’m feeling very grateful for watermelon these days. 

You get the idea. It can actually be kind of fun to make your own prompts if you’re into that, or you can simply list the highlights of your day before you go to bed. Do whatever you need to do to make it your own. If you’ll indulge me this one suggestion though - write it down. It’s easy to just think through what we’re grateful for each day, but in my opinion, that’s not as powerful as taking pen to paper. Writing down what you’re grateful for has the added bonus of being fun to look back on later. My journal from the past year has a ton of references to small moments I would have otherwise forgotten. There is joy in revisiting the past through the lens of gratitude. 

Wishing you a week of eyes wide open to all of the good.

Summer Is for Color

Coming to you live with a special Wednesday edition of LDJ because… I just kind of forgot yesterday was Tuesday? Anyone else? The combination of being on the road + Memorial Day Weekend has thrown me way off. 

We’re currently spending two weeks in sunny Jacksonville, FL and while Florida has never been my favorite state (the HEAT), I must say, it’s greener than I remembered down here. There’s Spanish moss everywhere and a lot of the flowers are in full bloom thanks to a rainy spring, seemingly throughout the United States.

Now that we’re approaching month six on the road, I have a better idea of what makes me appreciate an area, and a lot of it comes down to color. The more flowers or pastel cottages or blue water or purple mountains a place has, the more I’m drawn to it. On the flip side, the more beige an area is (I’m looking at you, West Texas), the more my mood deteriorates. Color makes the landscape interesting, even if it’s just dozens of shades of green. 

During our stay in San Diego, we popped down to Mexico for a day trip (sorry Mom!), and I fell in love with their use of color. The clothes were amazing - bright and bold, intricate and patterned, lightweight and textured. A lot of the streets had colorful banners hanging overhead, there were woven blankets in the shop windows, and most of the dishes were hand-painted. Even the food we ordered was art!

No seriously, that’s cheesecake.

While it might not be feasible to head down to Mexico every time you need some inspiration, there are a lot of easy ways to incorporate more color into your daily life. The clothes we wear are the most obvious place to start. Is there a dress in the back of your closet that you never wear because it’s too loud? If the beginning of summer isn’t the time to embrace your most ridiculous outfits, I don’t know what is. To the men out there who think this doesn’t apply to them, let me tell you, being a man in Mexico was not an excuse to dress in all neutrals. Give yourself permission to live a little, if you feel so inclined.

A couple other simple ways to add a pop of color to your life - buy yourself flowers, go to an art gallery, replace your old throw pillows with something more playful, catch a sunset, or make a really colorful meal. Summer lends itself to bright hues to begin with, all you have to do is lean in. 

Wishing you all a happy unofficial start to summer & an exceptionally colorful week! 

Find Your Energy Givers

Many moons ago, someone I follow on Instagram posted a list of what she called her “Energy Givers”. Essentially, it was a short list of 8-10 things that either help her feel her best when done consistently, or are good for a quick pick-me-up when she’s in need. 

I believe some of these energy givers are universal - a consistent sleep pattern, movement, whole foods, etc. I was much more intrigued by the things that seemed unique to her. For example, she mentioned organizing, which might make us all feel better in the long run, but probably isn’t on my personal list of energy givers…

Rasta’s energy givers include long walks, marking his territory, making new friends, and modeling. Sleeping 16 hours/day doesn’t hurt either.

It made me wheels turn, and I created my own Little List of Life Givers that I reflect on from time to time. Here’s what energizes me:

• A phone call with someone who gets me

• Hype music 

• Petting a dog. Preferably my own, but any will do, really. 

• Most outdoor activities - running, walking, biking, skiing

• Exploring a new town or area 

• Dancing 

• Sunlight

• Coffee (I realize this one is literally an energy giver, but I like the ritual of it too!) 

• Being around people who make me laugh 

• Learning something new

• Plants

• Being in any body of water, but most especially the ocean. What is it about getting our ass kicked by waves that makes us feel so alive?! 

Maybe you’re the type of person who enjoys a good cold plunge, or you get your energy replenished by reading a book, or gardening, or dying your hair pink, or going out clubbing until the wee hours of the morning. No judgments here. So many parts of our lives require tremendous energy from us, which makes finding the people, activities and places that fill us back up all the more important. 

If you’re not sure, my best advice is to remain curious. How do you feel after you watch a certain TV show? And after you get lunch with that particular friend? After the average work day? After an hour of reading the news? How about after that type of exercise? The more you pay attention, the better you can distinguish between what zaps your precious energy and what revives you.  

Wishing you all a week full of little life givers! 

Give It a Rest

As many of you know, my fiancé (!) and I are in the midst of moving across the country. We’re road warriors at this point, having moved from Boston to Portland back in 2020 and then spending 4 months on the road after leaving Portland in January. We’ve seen as much of the west coast as we possibly could. It’s been beautiful and exhilarating and so much fun and also… very tiring. 

Would highly recommend a western road trip.

It’s ridiculous, but I feel guilty being tired on the road. I keep thinking, “I don’t have kids, I don’t really have any obligations right now, I can’t be tired”. This is crazy talk. If you need a rest, you need a rest, plain and simple. You don’t stop feeling hungry when you think about all of the people in the world who are probably hungrier than you. 

Aside from the obvious (a good night’s sleep), there are other ways to relax during the day so we don’t feel so worn out. Here are a few of my thoughts: 

• Limit screen time. Poor iPhones, they’re always getting blamed for our problems. When I’m feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, I start to think that scrolling Instagram for a few minutes will help me chill out. I’m usually wrong. It ends up being way more than a few minutes, and I walk away entertained but not the least bit more relaxed. And because my 10 minute break turned into 45, I’m now more stressed that I haven’t gotten anything done. It’s an endless cycle. Put your phone down (and unclench your jaw while you’re at it). 

• Let yourself take a nap!  If you’re fortunate enough to have an opportunity to nap and you feel you need it, take it. No guilt allowed.

• Do something relaxing that you enjoy. Reading a book always helps me unwind, as does a hot shower, or a leisurely stroll with our dog.

• Do deep breathing exercises. I’ll probably do a whole blog dedicated to breathing exercises at some point, because I think they’re that simple + powerful. I don’t think I’ve ever regretted taking a step back and a few deep breaths. 

• Carve out some time for yourself. This is coming from someone who very much considers herself an extrovert - sometimes you just need a break from being social. My favorite way to do this is to go for a walk while listening to one of the way-too-many podcasts I have in rotation at all times. We all know when our social tank is on E, and it’s not good for anyone. Take time for yourself first, so you can be your best with others later. 

TL;DR: Your feelings are valid and you should honor them, even if that’s just the call to take a nap. You know the scene in Legally Blonde when Elle Woods is defending the exercise instructor and she says something along the lines of, “Exercise releases endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don’t kill their husbands.”? Well-rested people also don’t kill their husbands. Take care of yourself. It’s good for everyone.

Wishing you a week of rest and space and self-care!

There Are So Many Reasons to Celebrate

I’m writing this from a place of utter exhaustion and happiness - two feelings that don’t often go hand-in-hand. As I’m sure most of the people in my life can attest, I’m generally not delightful when I’m tired. 😉 But sometimes, the exhaustion is a side effect of a phenomenal weekend, and it’s a side effect I’ll gladly endure. We spent the past few days celebrating the wedding of two really wonderful friends in beautiful Santa Rosa, and my cup is overflowing. 

The prettiest cake I ever did see.

A few weeks ago, my friend Molly ran the Eugene marathon (her 15th marathon?!) and when I was talking to her afterward, she mentioned how fun it is to celebrate a big accomplishment, but that she wished we didn’t save the celebrations for just a few select occasions. Molly is very wise. We love birthdays, weddings, graduations and marathons for a reason, but if we reserve the good times for just a few major life events, we miss out on so many reasons to celebrate ourselves and each other.

You know when you go to a restaurant and they say, “Are we celebrating anything special this evening?” I understand why they ask (and it often means there’s free cheesecake involved for birthdays, so I don't hate it), but I always want to say back “it’s Wednesday!” or “the house is clean!” or “I washed AND dried my hair today!” (Just kidding, I never manage to dry my hair). It always seems like kind of a redundant question, because if you’re going out to dinner, isn’t that a celebration in and of itself? You’re most likely in the company of people you like, you’re eating food that someone else cooked, you’re probably going to laugh, and you don’t have to do any dishes. That’s a party already - you don’t need a specific reason to enjoy it. 

The aftermath of celebrating hard.

In this same spirit, here are a few ideas of excuses to celebrate: 

• A win at work - closing a sale, having a productive conversation with your boss, pitching a new idea, receiving positive feedback from a client, wrapping up a project, losing a client who was a drain on your energy, a glowing review… There is a lot more to progress at work than just receiving a promotion.

• Advocating for yourself - this is a big deal. It’s hard to do, it requires a lot of courage and it doesn’t always feel great in the moment, but it’s absolutely worth celebrating afterward.

• Pushing yourself athletically - lifting heavier weights at the gym, running further than you’ve ever run, nailing that yoga pose, or simply moving when you don’t feel like it. These are all reasons to feel proud.

• Good weather - one of the things I loved about living in the Pacific Northwest was that no one took a nice day for granted. If it was sunny, the whole city was at the park. It’s a vibe and I intend to continue the tradition wherever we end up next. 

• General gratitude celebration - I feel this whenever my family gets together. I don’t get to see them as often as I’d like, so just the getting to be together feels like a party (and often is). 

• Incremental improvements - these often go unrecognized because they aren't specific to a particular event, but if you’ve improved your health, or stuck with a new habit, or quit a habit or person who wasn’t good for you, you should celebrate. 

The biggest secret here? Celebrate other people. It feels good to have our own accomplishments recognized, but it is so much fun to see the people you love flying high. That was the magic of this weekend - we got to soak in all the good vibes of watching two people we love have the time of their lives. Finding excuses to laugh, drink, dance, and be merry in honor of the people we care about is good for everyone. I was told once to always keep a bottle of champagne in the fridge for this exact reason - you never know when something wonderful is about to happen. 

Wishing you all a week of celebrating the small things. I hope you find a reason to pop the champagne! 

You Is Kind, You Is Smart, You Is Important

“Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults.

If you succeed in doing this, tell me how”. 

- Baz Luhrmann, “Everybody’s Free (To Wear Sunscreen)”

When I was in eighth grade, our history teacher decided that we could all stand to be a little nicer to each other, so he gave us my favorite assignment of all time. Each of us was to take out a sheet of notebook paper and write down one thing we liked about each of our classmates. It was anonymous - our teacher picked up the papers and then typed a letter to each one of us with a list of all the sweet things our classmates had to say about us. Middle schoolers get a bad rap (some would argue for good reason), but pretty much everyone took this assignment seriously, and the words we had for one another were surprisingly thoughtful. Even the “I think it’s cool that you’re a girl who watches college basketball” compliment was meaningful and made me laugh. I’m not ashamed to say I still have this little piece of paper, almost twenty years later.

Part of what made this assignment so special was that we all walked away with something tangible - a list we could reference whenever we were feeling low. Our human brains love to ruminate on the things people have said that either intentionally or unintentionally made us doubt ourselves, but that’s not helpful. Most of us are plenty hard on ourselves already, without the voices of others in our heads. What we’re not always great at is remembering the thousands of nice things people have said to us over our lifetimes. 

In thinking about this, I’ve decided I want to start writing down the compliments I receive, in an effort to remember them when the negative self-talk creeps in. There are other ways to implement this as well - I have a former colleague from my time in sales who keeps an email folder with positive feedback from past clients. This helps him stay motivated when he receives the inevitable rejections, unresponsiveness, and sometimes cruelty that can come with being a salesperson. You can also keep a running note on your phone, or save text messages or voicemails that make you feel good. Whatever your preference, having a few, easily-accessible, uplifting messages handy is certainly not going to hurt. 

Another important thing to note here: receive your compliments. A lot of us instinctually downplay ourselves when someone says something nice to us, or we consider ourselves awkward compliment receivers. We say “oh no, that’s not actually true about me” or we feel the need to say something self-deprecating, but that stops us from fully absorbing what the other person is saying about us. The next time someone says something kind to you, try just saying “thank you” and letting it sit. See if that makes it easier for you to believe them. 

And if you really want to feel good? Give a meaningful compliment to someone else. Instead of saying “I like that shirt”, hit them with “you have such fun style”. Instead of, “you’re a great cook”, try “your cooking is such a reflection of you - always taking care of others”. The more specific the compliment, the more memorable it generally is. 

I found this article on compliment-giving really interesting. Specifically, the article points out that people often refrain from giving compliments because they’re afraid their delivery will be awkward, or they’ll make the other person uncomfortable, but that’s rarely the case. We consistently underestimate the positive impact our admiration will have on someone else. When in doubt, err on the side of speaking your kind words. 

Wishing you all a week of compliments - both given and (fully) received.

It’s the Little Things

This has been a theme for me lately. My boyfriend and I have been on this amazing trip around the country, where we’ve seen more awe-inspiring places than I can count - the Sea to Sky Highway, the Grand Canyon, the red rocks of Sedona, the snowy ski runs of Lake Tahoe. It’s been gorgeous and breathtaking and reminded me how much beauty you can find without ever leaving the country. 

I am not discounting how incredible the scenery has been on this trip. But I know when I look back on this time, some of the most stand-out memories are going to be the small, joy-filled moments in between. A quiet walk through the woods with Eddie and Rasta the morning after the first snowfall. Laughing on the beach with our friends on a Sunday afternoon. Grilling on the patio on a beautiful evening. A beer in the sunshine. A crowded barcade on a Saturday night. A conversation with a stranger. The A+ tuna tostada at that one taco truck. 

Said A+ tostada

It’s gotten me thinking about how life is like this - we get so excited for the big events, but the stuff that really brings us happiness happens in the small moments. And while it’s a lot of fun to have those moments happen spontaneously, I think we can do a better job cultivating them too. 

A few ways to create more joy:

Flowers. Buying them, giving them, admiring them, planting them. “Stop and smell the roses” is a cliché for a reason. Tis the season for flowers. Take a minute to revel in it.

The wildflowers in Chicago in October

A hot beverage on a cold morning (or a cold bevvie on a hot morning - east coast summer is coming up!). Coffee, iced tea, Diet Coke, watermelon juice (this is a recent discovery for me. San Diego is big on watermelon juice and it is 🔥). Put it in your favorite mug, pour it over ice, sip it slowly and actually enjoy it. 

Use the nice dishes. Or simply put your takeout on a plate instead of eating it out of the carton it came in. Yes, I know this is an extra dish to wash, but sometimes, that’s worth it. 

Eat outside. Growing up, eating on the deck was such a fun way to usher in summer nights. Is it me, or does food taste better al fresco? 

Games. I love doing the NYT Mini Crossword every day. It only takes a couple of minutes, but it’s something different and it breaks up my morning and I love it. For you, this may be Wordle or a video game or whatever today’s version of Candy Crush is. If you look forward to playing it, schedule it into your day. 

Create a point of connection with someone. This can be complimenting a stranger, or striking up a short conversation with the cashier at Target, or sending a text to an old friend. The point is simply to feel a bit more connected to the world. I remember reading a story about John Shepherd-Barron, the man who created the ATM. His wife loved going to the bank and chatting with the bank tellers, and she begged him not to put the ATM into the world because she was afraid it would ruin those points of connection. Supposedly, she died without ever using an ATM, even as the invention made them millions. I won’t lie here, I love the convenience of an ATM, but I also respect the heck out of ole Caroline Murray for acknowledging how much we all need one another. Make it a point to have a conversation with a stranger this week. 

Get some outdoor time. Take a break from the work meetings to play with your dog or go for a walk or water your flowers. Challenge yourself to spend 20 minutes getting some fresh air today. If you want to make it even better, leave your phone inside. 

I’m sure there are thousands of other ways to create memorable, happy moments. I’d love to hear what else has made an impression on you guys lately! Feel free to leave your thoughts in the comments. My hope for you this week is that you’re able to appreciate the little things as they’re happening. Happy Tuna Tostada Taco Tuesday to all who celebrate!